A New Tactic
by Loves-Chihuahuas
Summary: Light has become too angsty and short-tempered, so the team, unbeknownst to him, have come up with a disciplinary system...involving water? O.O' A funny fic for the heck of it that took on a life of it's own '
1. Chapter 1

**A New Tactic**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, nor do I own a pair of functional sunglasses.

**Warning**: this contains hilarious discipline scenes.

**Important info:** This is gonna be a real light-hearted fic most likely. As seemingly always, L and Light are chained together. Light _does not_ know that he is Kira, which means no memories of being Kira. I changed Light's age to about 17, going on 18. This takes place after L and Light have their epic fight of fangirl-squealing-awesome-chianed-manliness.

–blink—Oh, my, I seem to have come down with a slight case of fangirlism. How frightening. –sigh—now I gotta go let my Chihuahua gnaw on my arm until I snap out of it…All better now!—waves bleeding stump—it's now safe to read!

_**A New Tactic**_

_Subtitle: fight fire with a firehose_

L grumbled as he sat in his chair, gripping his denim-clad knees and wincing at the occasional pain in his back. Matsuda, sitting next to him at the stainless steel table in the meeting room, spun a penny(or the Japanese currency equivalent thereof) on the gleaming surface, seemingly nervous.

Across the table, Mr. Yagami cleared his throat, and all fidgeting around the table of 6 men stopped, except for the plopping of L's sugar cubes into his already sweetened tea.

"I believe we all know why we are here," Mr Yagami began, only to heave a deep sigh when Matsuda shook his head 'no.'

"We are holding this meeting because of the recent behavior of Light-kun," L's bored voice floated down the table.

"Oh, yeah…" Matsuda murmured as he remembered.

Mr. Yagami cleared his throat again and resumed, "As L said, we are holding this meeting to resolve the…ah, recent _behavioral _issues Light has developed." He then looked over to where Watari sat next to L.

The old English man stood and stated to the assembled men, " Light is not here right now, as L left him chained to the bed in their room with the security cameras running, nor does he know that this meeting is going on right now, so we must feel free to speak openly, but respectfully, of him in respect to his recent behavior and possible solutions for it. The floor is open."

Matsuda raised his hand exuberantly, and Watari, evidently the 'chairman,' motioned for him to speak, stating, "The board recognizes Matsuda."

Matsuda stood and grinned anxiously at everyone, saying a bit bashfully, "Well, I just wanted to say that I've noticed that Light's been really mean to me lately- it's not really easy to see—"

"Yes it is." L interrupted blandly. Matsuda gulped and Watari looked disapprovingly at L, motioning for Matsuda to continue.

Matsuda sighed and continued with a red face, "Okay, maybe it is noticeable to others, but he's been making all these off-hand comments about me not being as cool or smart, and it's not very nice, cause he says it in such a friendly way that I don't know how to defend myself." he finished a bit lamely. He sat back down looked decidedly dejected. (awwww D:)

Aizawa then raised his hand and Watari stated, "The board recognizes Aizawa."

Aizawa stood and began in his easily angry voice, "I know that I my be most cool-tempered guy, but this kid has really got some anger issues. I at least try to keep my cool! But whenever anything upsets that teenager, he flies off the handle! I mean, we all saw him shouting at Mogi the other day just because he said that Light acted like a different person after his confinement! " Aizawa sat down in a huff and glared at the others.

Mogi raised his hand slowly, and Watari said, "The board recognizes Mogi."

Mogi stood to his impressive height and stated in his deep, calm voice, "As to the situation Aizawa described, I have been thinking… Maybe his confinement has something to do with his attitude? He's just a teenager, and after being locked up in a cell for fifty-some days, I'd expect him to have a few emotional problems." Mogi then sat back down, having put in his two-cents.

Matsuda then put his hand back into the air, and after being recognized by the board, stood up and said thoughtfully, "I'm not saying that Light is or has ever been Kira, but he really did seem like a different person after his imprisonment- he came out of it a lot more…I dunno, innocent? But, after a while, he got to be really edgy and angry, and I was thinking that maybe…being chained to L had anything to do with it." He sat back down, casting fleeting glances at the detective next to him.

There was a moment, and then L himself raised his hand. Watari recognized him, and he stood awkwardly, grimacing slightly at the pain in his back, then began in his monotone, "It seems at though both the imprisonment and being attached to me has triggered these changes in Light-kun; he is more emotional, violent, and impulsive, whereas before the imprisonment he was reserved, detached, and more apt to use his intelligence to manipulate a situation than come to blows. Though I personally believe that this is due to the effects of Kira on his delicate mental and emotional health, I doubt you all would agree." L then sat back down with a slight twitch and looked around, waiting for someone else to speak.

Aizawa raised his hand again, and after being recognized, stood once more and said angrily, "Why is everyone skirting around the main problem here? We wouldn't be having this meeting f he was only being a loud-mouthed smart a$$; he's picking real fights! Every day he's getting into a fistfight with L, his own boss, at least twice a day! He's physically violent, and when we have to break them up we get hurt sometimes too!" He indicated a bandage on his forehead, "It's only a matter of time until he decides to throw a punch at one of us-probably Matsuda since he's always snapping at him." Matsuda squeaked and almost fell off his chair.

L raised his hand again and stated without being recognized, "It is true that Light-kun has become increasingly physically violent. A few of us, myself particular among them, have the marks to prove it. It is interfering with the case, and I cannot tolerate that."

Mr. Yagami finally raised his hand. Watari recognized him, and he stood, nervously pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "My son is not a bad kid," he began gruffly, "he was always polite, studious, intelligent, and calm growing up. Until this…case, we never had any problems at all with his behavior, none at all. But, now he's acting like…well, like an angsty teenager, and given his life up to this point, I wouldn't blame him for finally acting his age for once." He paused and looked around the room, then continued,:

"But, I see that it has become a problem. He has gone beyond teenage moodiness and is acting immaturely, as much as I hate to admit it, and it cannot continue. He is becoming too emotional, too violent, and I want better for my son; he's a genius for crying out loud!" he finished harshly, glaring around the table as if someone had insinuated that his son was a retard.

Watari then raised his own hand and recognized himself, "The board recognizes Watari," he chuckled slightly to himself, "Well, we do have a fine pickle here. Young Light has become emotionally unstable, and discreet testing has proven that it is not medical. I think it can be agreed around the table that the main cause of this change in the young man's behavior was his detainment and his being chained to L. He is not being overly-viscous, like a wild dog, but he is still unruly. We have determined his negative behavior, the likely causes, and now we must come up with a solution. The floor is open for suggestions." Watari sat back down, peering at the group with a small smile.

L raised his hand first. He was recognized, and stood, droning, "My personal approach up to this point has been to use the age-old 'eye for an eye' philosophy, but in wanting to stop the behavior before it happens, I suggest we take a different route to discourage the bad behavior." L sat back down like a spidermonkey, sipping from his tea.

There was a pause, and Mogi raised his hand. He was recognized, stood, and said, "Why don't we come up with a system? If he does something bad, he gets punished. Easy as that." He sat back down.

Aizawa raised his fist into the air and suggested, "Why don't we use good-old spanking? That hardly fails to get a kid's attention." He sat back down with a smirk.

There was a moment of silence, and then Mr. Yagami slowly raised his hand, "I…might just agree with you." He said hesitantly, indicating Aizawa, "He was never spanked as a child, so I don't know how he'd react to it, but all of his little friends were. I mean, it's not like we can take away any privileges from him; he doesn't do anything except work on the case, and taking that away would only hurt the investigation… spanking might actually work, as odd as it sounds." he finished uncomfortably, sitting back down and looking pensive.

There was an uncomfortable silence in which everyone thought the same thing. Matsuda finally raised his hand, breaking the silence, "Who's going to spank him…?" The question was left in the heavy air.

L sighed imperceptibly and raised his hand, standing, "Spanking does seem like a good idea, but only after the fact of the misbehavior; we need another component to this system of monitoring his behavior and intervenes when we see the act of misbehavior coming. …Though, back to the spanking issue, I believe that whoever is on hand, or feels responsible to take action for each specific instance of misbehavior should be the one to administer the spanking. Does that sound alright?"

There was a moment of nodding all around, and then they thought of what they could ddo…

Matsuda got an awed look on his face, and raised his hand, "I think…it may be stupid, but it just might work… you know how when a puppy or kitten does something bad, you use a spray-bottle to stop them…?"

Everyone's eyes widened, and Mr. Yagami asked unsurely, "Are you suggesting that…when Light attempts to do something bad, we…spray him with a spray-bottle?"

Matsuda blushed, rubbing the back of his head in embarrasement.

"That would work perfectly," came L's characteristically apathetic voice, startling Matsuda, "Yes…We could all have spray-bottle filled with water, we could just attach them to our belts… when he attempts to misbehave, we intervene with a spray of water to the face—it won't hurt, but it will deter. And if he still persists in his negative action, then someone on-hand will spank him as punishment…yes, I could use that in place of my kicks…yes…" L sank into deep thought.

Watari cleared his thought and called, "Alright, all those in favor of the plan to use spray bottles, each member here being granted one, to intervene and deter misbehavior, and then the use of spanking as punishment after bad behavior has occurred?"

"Aye!" all hands raised and all murmured 'aye.'

"Alright, the 'Aye's have it! Motion passed! This becomes effective immediately tomorrow morning, and I motion that the team as a whole explains these rules to Light to make sure he understands and does not single out one person to blame. All those in favor?"

"Aye!"

***** ~The next morning~

Light yawned and stared grumpily at L as he sat on the bed, typing away at his laptop.

"L, hello, earth to L!" Light grumbled, "It's time to go down to the workroom and get some breakfast. I'm not gonna let you starve me too."

L nodded mutely and stood gracefully from the bed, "Lead the way, Light-kun."

Light huffed and stalked out of the room, eager to get something in his stomach.

They pair reached the workroom, and Light was surprised to see everyone already assembled there; Light and L were usually the first to arrive in the mornings.

Shrugging, Light snagged muffin from the coffee table, where the usual assortment of breakfast foods was laid out, and went to sit at the computers where a mass of files sat.

He bent down to turn on his computer, only to feel a hand pluck at his shirt. With a deep, self-suffering sigh, he raised himself back up, asking irritably, "What now, L?"

Upon looking up, however, Light was greeted with an unusual sight; everyone was either sitting in a chair or standing in a circle, all staring at him. His eyes narrowed, and he asked aggressively, "What?"

Everyone glanced at each other, then to Watari, who was wheeling in a dry-eraseboard that seemed to contain a set of rules and holding a box in the other hand. He took what appeared to be a spray-bottle out of the box, then passed it around the circle, each member taking one until it reached Light. Confused, he moved to take one as well, only to have L gently lift the box out of his hands, murmuring, "Not for you, Light-kun."

Light's brows contracted again, and he grit his teeth, wondering what on earth was going on, watching as everyone filled their spray-bottles with water from their waterbottles.

"What's going on here?" He asked suspiciously.

Watari cleared his throat, and Light looked over at him, eyes still narrowed. "Light," the old man began, turning the dry-eraseboard for all to see properly, "We, as in the team minus yourself, held a meeting the other night, to discuss your behavioral issues, and have come up with a fairly simple discipline system for you." He indicated the board, and Light read it, his eyes growing wider with each passing moment.

"Do you understand?" Watari asked carefully.

Light looked up in horror and asked, "You…can't be serious, this is a joke, right?"

Mr. Yagami gave Light a strained smile and said, "No, I'm afraid not, son. You're getting out of control-"

Light sprang up and growled, "This is completely idiotic, I do _not _have any behavioral problems!"

"Oh," came a voice to Light's side, "but you most certainly do, Light-kun."

Light turned to glare at L, snarling furiously, "First you lock me up, chain me to you, and now you're going to try and treat me like a toddler? No way I'm putting up with this you little piece of sh-" He was sprayed directly in the face via L's squirt-bottle.

"Bad Light-kun. Please control you tone, volume, and choice of words. This is your warning."

Light choked and sputtered, wiping his face on his sleeve. As soon as he recovered, he cocked his fist, intending to deck L—only to be barraged on all sides by spray-bottles with many cries of , "Bad Light!" and "No!" and "Naughty!"

"IEEP!" Light squawked, shielding his face with his arms. The onslaugt of water ceased, and Light looked up wearily.

"Now, if we may continue," Watari said, lowering his spray-bottle and speaking as if nothing had happened, "this, indeed, is not a joke, Light. You have behavioral issues, and we have gone to the trouble of devising a plan to help you-."

"Help me?" Light choked, enraged, "How is this supposed to help, how is this supposed to help _anyone_!?" He felt a spray to the back of the head.

Growling, Light turned to L, who stated, "Bad Light-kun. That's your second warning, and only because this is you first day; the next time you disobey, you'll get a spanking."

Light twisted his fingers, itching to hit the detective and shouted, "I'm almost an adult, you can't treat me this way, you f*cking creepy little -" He didn't manage to finish his sentence, as someone promptly snatched him up from behind and pulled him over their lap.

Light squeaked, and heard Mogi rumble from above him, "Well, being the closest, I suppose I should do it?"

L's voice answered from somewhere, "Yes, that'll be the best. I'd say about 10 swats?"

Light, realizing he was about to be spanked like a naughty child, started kicking and screaming, but to no avail. "Light, you disobeyed even though you were warned twice, and now you will get your punishment." Mogi raised his hand and brought it down onto Light's clothed backside.

Light yelped in surprised, and nine more stinging, quick blows were rained down. Mogi then stood the thunderstruck and humiliated Light up and faced the circle again quite calmly. Aizawa gave Mogi an appreciative smirk, which he returned slightly.

Light stood there, gaping and staring straight in front of him, not believing what had just happened even though the sting in his backside told him otherwise.

"Sit down now, Light-kun." L instructed Light. He was once again squirted by L's water bottle, and he sank back down into his chair, his face heating up as reality caught back up with him; he had just been spanked in front of the entire team.

"I think you'll see now that we are quite serious about this," Watari stated evenly, "now, would you like to hear more about the rules?"

Light grimaced, close to yelling again, but jerked his head in assent.

Watari smiled and said, "Lovely. Every member of the team, except you, will carry spray-bottles. Whenever you attempt to misbehave, someone on site will spray you as a warning. If you still persist, or they do not react in time and you commit the bad behavior, then you will be spanked by someone on site. The spanking will increase in severity with the degree of the infraction and what the person executing the spanking sees fit. That's about it. Any questions?"

Light stared at the old man blankly, then turned to his father and asked dazedly, "Dad, you can't do something about this…?"

Mr. Yagami sighed and replied firmly, "No. I agreed to all this for your sake. There's no getting out of it."

Light was silent for a moment, then asked to on-one in particular, "Who will be allowed to…?

"Spank you?" Aizawa supplied easily, "Everyone here. Basically, anyone on hand can spank you, unless someone specific wants to." He looked as though he were fighting to keep a grin off his face.

Having a sudden thought, Light asked, "And what if I don't agree to all of this? What's to stop me from just walking out this door—" The chain rattled, and Light mentally face-palmed, muttering, "Oh, yeah, I'm a suspect…"

Light closed his eyes, thinking through all the possible scenarios this might invoke, and his eyes flew open, suddenly frightened, "What if it's unprovoked? What if the punishment or squirting is unfair or too harsh?" He demanded.

Matsuda finally spoke up, giving Light a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, we wouldn't do that!"

Light remained unassured, and it must have shown on his face, because L stated, " If cases such as abuse of power occur, the person shall be dealt with accordingly." Light glared at L, angry most of all at the panda detective; in his mind, this was all his fault.

"This is...just completely unfair…" Light said in a low voice.

L raised his squirt bottle and warned boredly, "Don't take that tone, Light-kun."

Light grimaced and snapped his mouth shut.

A few moments of silence, then, "Let us return to work, shall we?" L's voice rang.

All was fine for the rest of the day, Light receiving occasional squirts when he got snappy or agitated at someone- but, he had managed to avoid another spanking.

They took their break, and Light was internally fuming. Having no vent for his anger, he squashed the orange segment he was holding.

"Don't waste food, Light-kun. There are starving children in Haiti." L intoned from next to him, promptly squirting him in the ear.

Light twitched and growled, "I'm not _wasting _anything _L."_ Another squirt.

"Watch your tone, Light-kun."

***** ~later that day~

The day was finally over, and Light entered his shared room with L with a huge sigh. He removed is shoes and collapsed on the bed, fully dressed.

"Does Light-kun wish to shower?" L asked from above him.

Light lifted his head and said in a voice laced with sarcasm, "Didn't you see? I've had plenty of showers today!"

L squirted Light again, stating dully, "Bad Light-kun. You have a problem with talking back. Don't make me spank you."

Light sat up on the bed and growled, "Oh, I'm _so_ scared! The walking stick is going to make me cry-" Squirt.

"That's your last warning, Light-kun. Now get ready for bed and go to sleep; you've had a long day and you wouldn't want to be cranky tomorrow."

Lighted twitched angrily and hissed, "You can't tell me what to do!"

L stared at him and said frankly as he squirted Light, "Yes I can- and your Kira percentage has gone up 2.3% today from your repeated hostility."

That was it. Light snapped at the mention of their ever-waging argument. "I'm not Kira!" Light shouted, sending a punch at L.

L did not dodge in time, and it caught his shoulder. He leapt to the side, resisting the urge to kick the teen. Light sent his fist flying again, and this time, L sidestepped it and swiped his foot under Light's legs, making him fall back onto the bed.

Before he could properly reorient himself, L had sat down on the bed and quickly pulled Light across his bony lap. L had once told Light that he was stronger than he looked, and lying there, held in place easily by the detective, Light could not help but grudgingly agree.

"L, stop this!" Light barked angrily, twisting and squirming in an attempt to escape his ultimate humiliation.

"No," L said apathetically, "Light-kun has been very, very naughty, and must now receive his punishment."

L grasped Light's pants and fluidly tugged them off, along with his boxers. Light let out a yelp and half-screamed, "What do you think you're doing!?" Mogi hadn't removed any clothing!

L sighed slightly from above him and said calmly, "You were told that the severity of your misbehavior would increase the severity of your punishment, and that the executer of that punishment was to decide how harsh it would be."

Light growled angrily and flailed hopelessly, bucking and kicking, "This is not fair!"

"Yes it is, Light-kun," L stated mildly, "I'm going to start now, any questions?"

Light continued to squirm a bit pathetically, and couldn't help but to ask the question that was on his mind, "…how many swats?"

"Oh, until it sinks in." L said airily, unexpectedly bringing his pale hand down on Light's bottom.

"AAII!" Light yelped, surprised by the pain of it.

L brought his hand down five more times in a rhythmic pattern of stinging pain over Light's backside and asked, "Why are you receiving this punishment, Light-kun?"

Light yipped with every stinging swat, and answered angrily, "Because you're an insane pervert!"

"No, not at all, Light-kun." L stated calmly, increasing the force of the swats.

"Ehh, aaaiii!" Light cried out, "Stop it!"

"No." L replied simply, then after a few more swats asked, "Let's try again, shall we? Why are you being spanked?" L's hand bounced incessantly off Light's poor behind like some mockery of a bongo player.

"Uhh, I didn't listen," Light said through gritted teeth.

L hummed and asked, "Alright, more specifically, what did you _do?"_

"AAii! I-I disobeyed, oooww~!" Light finished, L landing a particularly viscous smack to his rear.

"How did you disobey?" Light gritted his teeth, his teeth chattering from the continued assualt on his bottom.

"I-I, uhh, aii, h-hit you," Light stuttered.

""Yes, you did. You attacked me. Now what else did you do?"

Feeling intensely humiliated, Light replied in a strained voice, "I b-back-talked."

"Precisely. You back-talked and attacked me. That's why you're being punished." Light expected him to stop at this pint, having 'learned his lesson', but L did not cease his tirade on Light's bottom.

"H-hey," Light complained, "aren't y-you aaaii! Supposed to s-stop now!?" twisting around fruitlessly.

"Oh, no, Light-kun," L replied monotonously, "I do not believe it has sunk in yet. I'll let you know when it has." And with that , L increased the force and tempo of the swats.

Light cried out with every hit, not believing something he had always viewed as trivial could hurt so much. Tears formed in his eyes, and he shut them furiously. This struggle, too, though, was is vain.

Feeling mortified but unable to stop it, Light began to cry softly, trying his hardest to keep it quiet.. L, however, must have heard him, because after a few more swats., he stopped.

"Light-kun can get up now ."

Light stood unsteadily, facing away from the detective as he pulled up his fallen undies and trousers, sniffling almost imperceptibly.

Light heard L shuffling around. Chancing a glance around now that he was more composed, he saw L rummaging around in their dresser. L pulled out a set of pajamas and tossed them to Light, who caught them quickly.

"Now change and get to bed, Light-kun, or my hand will be too tired to type tomorrow." Immediately grasping the implications, Light changed at top speed and practically flew under the covers, for once leaving his clothes lying in a heap on the floor.

Lying on his stomach for obvious reasons, Light hid his face in his pillow, too embarrassed to face the detective after what had just happened. "I hope Light-kun knows," L's voice interrupted Light's musings like cracking glass, "I will not be so lenient the next time L have to take him across my knee." Light shivered slightly, hoping that day would not come.

Quite tiered after his…ordeal, it did not take Light long to fall asleep. At an increase in his snoring, L was quite tempted to swat hi's rump from where he sat above the covers, but resisted, choosing instead to munch on another Warhead* from the bowl sitting next to him.

The next morning, Light woke to a still somewhat-sore rear. Grimacing as he got up, he allowed himself to be dragged to the bathroom for a shower, then out to the workroom with only one squirt from L's spray-bottle.

All in all, Light had been quite well-behaved in the few hours he had been awake, and L was internally feeling victorious at having reigned in the teen with a few well-placed spanks. That was, however, until Matsuda started pestering Light, and everything started going downhill.

"Hey, hey Light! Guess what, guess whhaaaaaaaaaaattttttt???" Matsuda crowed happily, seemingly not noticing that it was only seven in the morning.

Light grit his teeth and snapped, "_What_ is it that is so important you'd have to interrupt my work, Matsuda?" Matsuda's face fell, and he abruptly brought his spray-bottle up level with Light's astonished face and squirted him directly between the eyes.

Matsuda giggled slightly, and Light scrubbed the water off his face with his sleeve, asking irritably, "What did I do wrong?"

"You were rude." Mr. Yagami said nonchalantly as he passed by, reading a report. Matsuda nodded enthusiastically.

A muscle in Light's face worked as Matsuda related to him his morning adventure of finding a green sock in his couch cushions, though he didn't own any green socks.

A couple more hours passed, Light receiving five more squirts, and he finally turned to snarl at the person who had just squirted him in the ear, "Just p*ss off you stupid fu-" only to see that he was screaming and cursing at someone of an equal temperment; Aizawa.

Aizawa's eyebrow twitched and a grin slowly spread across his face like had won the Powerball lottery*. Light gulped, fearing that he would be …_punished._

Aizawa raised up a finger and beckoned the teen forward, growling, "C'mere Light." Light, knowing of the state of his bottom and the man's temper would not make a good combination, gripped the arms of his chair tightly and shook his head furiously 'no.'

Aizawa'a smirk grew, and he stepped forward, saying, "Resisting, eh? Well, there's only one thing for that then." The officer stood directly in front of the wary Light, looming menacingly. Then, he unexpectedly grabbed Light under the armpits and began to tickle him.

Caught off guard and being only human, Light immediately began to laugh and twist away from the hands, letting go of the arms of the chair. Aizawa, that sneaky devil, swooped Light up and transported the young genius over to his own chair before Light had a chance to recuperate from the sneak-tickle-attack.

Aizawa sat down easily in his chair and plopped Light across his lap. Light twisted across the other man's lap, too aware that he had had enough spankings for a lifetime already. Deciding to appeal to the man's better nature, he asked hastily, "Aizawa, do you really have to do this? I didn't really do anything all that bad!"

Aizawa just laughed slightly from above the panicky teen and answered, "Yep, I sure do have to do this; we all just finished giving you warnings about being mouthy, and yet you still disobeyed!... and I've been wanting to do this for a while now." He murmured the last part to himself as he brought his hand up.

Light, remembering that Mogi and L had very different spanking styles, sqwaked quickly, "Wait- how many swats?!"

Aizawa stilled his hand and thought for a moment, then answered, "Fifteen sounds good to me, since you had ten yesterday." Light choose not to point out that he had had more like 50 or more, preferring to keep that information to himself.

Aizawa brought his hand down on Light's already abused bottom, and he yowled. Fourteen swats later, and Light hung limply off the other's lap, feeling close to crying again-not quite, though.

Light was released and staggered back over to his chair, attempting to sit down. He hissed in pain, and L, who had witnessed the whole scene with well-concealed amusement, offered, "Shall I get Light-kun a pillow and an ice-pack?"

Not knowing if the detective was poking his buttons or being helpful, Light pretended not to hear him, instead choosing to surreptisiously lean against the side of the computer counter while reading his assigned files instead of sitting down.

Light's mood deteriorated through the rest of the day, due most likely to the pain in his bottom, and it was that he was eventually found shouting a string of surprisingly descriptive curse words while throwing a file on the ground, its contents sent fluttering in various directions.

Mr. Yagami, quite a patient man, did not take kindly to this temper tantrum, and promptly seized Light around the upper arm, guiding him towards the unoccupied couch on the other side of the room. Though enraged, the gob-smacked Light still had enough sense to not attempt to struggle with his father. Mr. Yagami sat down on the couch with a sigh, indicating for Light to lie down over his lap.

Biting back many words that would only worsen his situation, Light placed himself over his father's lap, deciding that this was perhaps the last possible person he would choose to corporally punish him. Mr. Yagami lectured severely, "Light, your mother and I raised you better than to act so childishly- you are too intelligent to behave like a child, and if punishing you like a child makes you act your age, then so be it."

And with that, he brought his hand down ten times on Light's secretly blistered bottom. Crying out with every blow, Light gulped in great breaths of air as he was released from his father's lap.

Standing up and swaying, the first thing Light focused on was the emotionless face of L, standing a few feet behind the couch and looking at him with hooded eyes, a candy cane sticking out the side of his mouth. Having forgotten that L would have to follow because of the chain, Light was shocked and angered beyond words to see that L had observed the whole spanking scene like some creepy owl.

Growling, Light bounded over the couch, snarling, "That was none of your business to watch, you disgusting freak!" He aimed a swift punch at L, who instead grabbed his practically proffered arm and swung him around to land back on the couch.

Wasting no time, L gracefully hopped onto the couch next to the shocked Mr. Yagami and flopped Light onto his lap. "I would have thought that Light-kun would not be so eager to receive another spanking," L remarked boredly.

The fight drawing the attention of the team (who also wanted to see the detective spank the kid), the other members of the team drew around the area surrounding the three on the couch like moths to a flame.

Knowing what kind of disciplinarian L was, Light struggled desperately against L's iron grip. Deaf to the teen's struggles, L intoned in his emotionless voice, "You didn't learn your lesson, did you Light-kun? Hitting people is bad, and we'll just have to make sure it properly sinks in this time." and promptly releaved Light of his pants, soon followed his boxers.

The team's eyes widened at the sight of Light's ruby-red bottom, which was soon obscured as L forcefully brought down his white hand with a loud 'SMACK' onto the teen's abused rump.

Matsuda, Mogi, and Aizawa cringed at the sound of skin hitting skin, watching as a white handprint appeared momentarily on the red skin, soon replaced once again by L's swift hand.

Light yowled pathetically, squirming in pain and embarrassment, knowing that L wouldn't stop for quite some time, especially since he had warned him the other night about the next time L would punish him.

L brought this hand up once more as Light yipped and yelped on his lap, only to have it grasped by someone from above him.

Keeping a firm grip on Light, L turned his face up to see who had stalled his hand, and came face-to-face with a very perturbed Matsuda.

Blinking slowly up at the idiotic officer, L asked without preamble, "Why have you interrupted this spanking?"

Matsuda's face colored and he asked with a slight stutter to his voice, "W-well, it just t-t-that Light's b-b-b-b-rear looks really… p-painful."

L stared at him for a moment, then stated, "I know."

Matsuda floundered for a moment, then looked to his co-workers for help. Aizawa scratched the back of his neck nervously and Mogi just stood there looking at Light's cherry-colored bottom with a slight crease between his eyebrows.

Light lay helplessly on L's lap, estatic that the swats had stopped, but embarrassed beyond belief about his current situation.

"How many times has Light been spanked--in total?" Mogi asked suddenly.

Aizawa screwed up his face and began to count aloud, "Mogi did once, I did, and Mr. Yagami did, so that's three times."

"That doesn't make any sense, though." Mogi stated, frowning, "It looks like more than that, but he's only been spanked three times total- so someone must have spanked him too hard."

The team exchanged glances, and Mr. Yagami said frankly, "I didn't think that I had spanked all that hard, but he sure did cry out." Light's face heated up, unseen by all, since it faced the floor.

"Well, it wasn't me!" Aizawa exclaimed defensively, "Alright, I put a little bite into it, but it certainly wasn't enough to cause _that_."

All eyes turned to Mogi, and he said calmly, "I was careful not to be too rough, knowing that he would probably get spanked plenty more times."

Everyone stared in puzzlement at Light's bottom while he metaphorically died in shame. L, feeling Matsuda's grip go lax, wrenched his hand free and continued on with the spanking like he had never been interrupted.

"AAAiiiiee~!" Light howled at the unexpected assault.

"W-wait!" Matsuda squawked, and Mogi reached forward—but, someone else got there first.

"L, let's stop this for a moment, until we figure out what is going on here." Mr. Yagami said calmly as he held L's wrist firmly.

L sighed slightly and said boredly, "You all are ignoring a simple, obvious fact- Light was spanked in the time span after work yesterday and before this morning—namely, by me. There, now the punishment may resume." The team gawked at L, who once more wrenched his hand away and proceeded to punish Light.

The team was still for a moment as L seemingly ignored them and continued to lay down vicious, succinct slaps to Light's colorful bottom.

Light gave up and began to bawl, banging his fists against the detective's legs and kicking fruitlessly.

But, the spanking stopped for a third time as Light was tugged away by an angry Mr. Yagami and worried Matsuda.

Being held facing toward his father by said man, Light wailed as his garments were restored quickly by a red-faced Matsuda. L brought his knees up to his chest like usual at the absence of a body over his lap, and he asked calmly, "Did one of you wish to punish him instead? You could have just asked- though, I would have preferred to continue once started, considering I was the one he attacked."

"We need to have another team meeting." Mr. Yagami growled, holding onto Light's arms as he sniffled and hid his face self-consciously.

*****

Fifteen minutes later found the entire team, Light included this time, gathered in the meeting room. Six men sat at the table, Light kneeling on his chair that faced backwards towards the table to save his poor rear-end from some additional discomfort.

Watari, who had been clued-in on the matter, sat at the head of the table looking sternly over the top of his glasses at L.

"L, I thought it was _you _who said that those who were too harsh or abused their position of authority over Light would be 'dealt with'?" Watari asked in a slightly aspirated voice.

L brought his thumb up to his lips and stated coolly, "This is based on the assumption that I either unjustly punished Light or that the punishment was too harsh. The punishment was indeed warranted as he struck me on the cheek and continued to his attempted attack. It was not too harsh at all- he did not complain all day and it really wasn't even all that severe when compared to how other children are disciplined."

Light blushed and glared butterknifes (daggers are dangerous D:) at the detective's implications of his assumed wimpiness.

Watari adjusted his glasses slightly and announced, "You may not see your actions as being wrong, but this is a matter of democracy, and since we implemented this disciplinary plan in a voting-based, majority-rules, equal-partisanship group, then that shall be how we settle this matter; with a vote."

The members of the team focused on Watari, and he continued, "All those who vote that L's punishment was uncalled for?"

There was some squirming and Light immediately put his fist into the air. "Your vote doesn't count." Watari said gently, and Light lowered his hand with a sour look on his face like he had consumed one of L's Warheads.

"Alright, it is unanimous that L was right in disciplining Light," Watari announced after another moment of silence in which on one raised their hands, "Next item to vote on: was L too harsh in his punishment?"

There was a moment, and Matsuda raised his hand, but, surprisingly, he was the only one to do so. Light looked around the table with an injured stare.

"Alright," Watari said evenly, "Majority rules that L was not too harsh in his punishment. The floor is now open to discuss what the problem is here, then."

Light raised his hand, and Watari recognized, "the board recognizes the non-member Light, who still has the right to voice his opinions of the matters discussed here today."

Light lean forward on his chair and barked angrily, "What the heck!? You guys all think that he wasn't too harsh?! That's crap- I can't eve-" A shower of water descended on Light, and he shut his mouth, seething.

Aizawa raised his hand, was recognized, and stood, saying, "After thinking about it, L had every right to punish Light, and he actually didn't go too far—it's not like he left bruises. It just doesn't sit right with me that when the chief and I spanked his today, we caused him more harm than we intended."

Aizawa sat to a general murmur of assent. Mr. Yagami raised his hand, was recognized, and stood, stating softly, "I agree with Aizawa. The severity of the punishment that he and I gave Light didn't match the degree of his misbehavior, though it was no fault of our own." Mr. Yagami sat, giving Light a slightly apologetic look.

Mogi then raised his hand and was acknowledged, "I think the point we're all trying to get at is that L should have told us at some point that he had already punished Light—in not informing us, Light was punished a bit too much."

L raised his hand, "I do not see this as any fault on my part- Light-kun chose not to inform anyone that I had punished him, so I did not either."

"T-that's not fair!" Matsuda exclaimed, standing up without being recognized, "You're given authority over Light, which means that you're responsible for his welfare! You're supposed to be the responsible adult here, not him, so it's your responsibility and it's your fault!" Matsuda stood there panting for a moment, then, realizing what he had done, squeaked and hid under the table.

Everyone stared at where Matsuda had been standing, gawking at his one brave moment, and blinked.

"Alright…" Watari finally said, "Matsuda's got a really good point."

"…Yes, he does." Mr. Yagamoi spoke, breaking out of his spell of amazement, and turning to L, narrowing his eyes, "And if _Matsuda_ could figure it out, then _L_, being a genius, probably knew long before!"

Distrustful glances were cast towards L, who raised his hand, looking unconcerned, "I still do not find myself at fault, though I acknowledge that it might have been better for me to inform the team of Light-kun's prior punishment. The simple fact is that we did not include that in the rules we set down yesterday, so I have not actually broken any of our agreed-apon punishment standards. And, besides, so what if he feels a little more pain?—he got what his actions warranted each time, or perhaps even less."

Light sat there fuming at the dispassionate detective, wanting nothing better than to wring his scrawny neck.

Watri cleared his throat and announced, "I think it may be time for a vote; all those in favor for adding to our agreed-apon rules of Light-kun's discipline plan that we must all make it known to the others when we punish Light?"

All hands rose, Matsuda raising his from under the table to peek over the edge at them all.

Light thought hard to himself about how to derail this whole, painful regiment that had set up for him. He raised his hand, and after a warning glance, was acknowledged by Watari….Light had a plan to try and make this all dissapear.

Trying his utmost to keep calm, Light looked around the table with huge eyes, switching his charm on full-blast, "I know why you're all doing this—you just wanna help, but it still seems unfair to me. I'm the only one here getting constantly sprayed in the face by spray-bottles and whalloped everytime I turn around!" The team shifted uncomfortably, evidently feeling guilty. Light grinned inwardly.

"So, what Light-kun is saying is that he feels alienated, being the only one subjected to the disciplinary plan that he obviously needs?" L quiered. Light controlled himself and nodded pathetically.

L smiled slightly, a terrifying sight on a normal occasion, and when talking of punishment, downright horrific(and cute w), "Well, if Light-kun feels so alone in this, perhaps it would help for someone else to be go through it with him?"

Light narrowed his eyes, knowing that L was either making fun of him, plotting something, or both.

"What do you mean? That another team member allow themselves to be sprayed and spanked when they act out of line?" Aizawa asked uncertainly, "Wouldn't that corrupt the system?"

L inclined his head towards Aizawa and droned, "That is exactly what I meant, and no, it would not nessicarily corrupt the system we established- quite to the contrary; if one of us were to be put under the same system, and keep our position of authority over Light, then he would see that one could go through our designed system without incurring so much punishment, and therefore motivate him and facilitate his behavioral development."

…

"Alright," Watari stated as everyone digested what L had imparted, "That makes sense. But, who would want to do that? We shouldn't force someone into that, so someone would have to volunteer." He looked pointedly around the circle.

No one raised their hands. Light looked curiously at L, wondering what he was going to do now that no one wanted to go along with his crazy plan- that is, unless…

L raised his hand, and Light grimly applauded himself in his mind for having figured it'd be the panda who'd do it—now, the only question was _why _he was doing it? Light didn't believe that crap L had spouted about motivating Light; this had to be about proving him as Kira.

The team members stared in open shock at L, Matsuda gasping from under the table when he had peeked.

"You? You would do it?" Watari asked L seriously.

L nodded solemly, stating, "For the sake of the case, and for my first friend, Light-kun."

Light gritted his teeth, knowing it was a lie.

"Shall we vote on it then?" Watari asked the group gathered around the table, "Who votes that L should be allowed to be subjected to the same disciplinary system as Light, and that he should keep his position of authority over Light, including the right to use his spray-bottle and spanking as punishment?"

All hands slowly raised around the table.

Light gritted his teeth was L gave him an innocent stare, stating, "Now we're in this together, Light-kun."

All that Light could think as he glared down the panda-man was that he couldn't wait to pin L for something and see him get spanked.

END… for now XD

Author's Notes:

-Oi, that turned out to be over ten times longer than I planned-I didn't even get to finish! D:

-Haha, well, I'm gonna make this a 2-shot, most likely, especially if I get some nice reviews w

-A note about this spanking motif I have in a few of my fics: I have always found spanking to be hilarious, and this is probably gonna be my last fic containing it…probably. I'm just getting it out of my system—it's like when you listen to a song over and over obsesively until you get bored with it.

*Warhead- it's a type of candy that was really popular in the 90's—very, VERY sour! x'

-Well, as always, excuse my terrible writing(I always write these uber late at night, the only time I've got to myself anymore…) and please R&R!

-Oh, and watch out for the updating spree I'm planning(key word, planning) on doing this weekend! :D


	2. Chapter 2

A New Tactic Ch2!

For **Disclaimers, Important info, and Warnings**, please see Ch1!

_**A New Tactic Ch2**_

_Subtitle: Can't find meeehhh!_

Light glared at the detective sitting next to him with an innocent look on his face, trying to determine two things: 1, how L was going to use this to prove him as Kira(since that would be the _only _reason he'd consent to this), and 2, how to get the detective spanked.

The teen's musing were cut short, however, when Watari announced, "Alright, the decisions we have agreed and voted upon are effective starting now. Meeting dismissed." There was a shuffling around the room, and the taskforce members stood, leaving the meeting room.

Light stepped down from the chair he had been leaning on, intending to leave as well, but was stopped as L tugged on his chain, murmuring, "Wait a moment, Light-kun."

Light stood irritably next to the detective as the other members filed out of the room, L munching on animal crackers, oblivious to Light's searing glances sent his way.

Matsuda finally left, casting curious looks at L and Light, and shut the heaving metal door behind him with a 'clang.'

Now alone, Light turned to face L and asked without preamble, 'Is this an attempt to prove I'm Kira?"

L stared at Light with large, blank eyes, answering coolly, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Light-kun. How can keeping you back after the meeting possibly prove you as Kira?"

Light bristled and growled, "You know that's not what I'm talking about! Why did you agree to-" A squirt of water promptly silenced a steaming Light. Looking at the detective through narrowed eyes, Light found him to be smiling ever-so-slightly.

"Keep your temper, Light-kun," L warned lazily, waving his spray-bottle tauntingly, "I kept you behind to discuss your unfinished punishment."

Light clenched his fists and snarled, "Stop avoiding the question—wait, what do you mean 'unfinished punishment'?" He ended in a sharp voice.

L blinked at the glowering Light and squirted him, stating, "You remember, don't you, that your punishment was interrupted by the other team members?"

Light backed up a step and barked, "No, that punishment is done!" L stood from his chair and approached Light, his spray-bottle held in front of him.

"No, it is nowhere near done- remember what I said yesterday night?," L intoned monotonously, walking forward as Light stepped backwards, "The next time I had to take Light-kun over my knee, I wouldn't be so lenient. Now come here so we can finish this and get back to work."

L reached out a hand for Light's arm, and when Light flinched back he stated boredly, "If Light-kun resists it will only increase his punishment." Light made a small noise that sounded like a whine and L approached again.

The detective wrapped his long, spidery fingers around Light's wrist and guided him back over to the table. L sat on his chair and patted his lap, an open invitation to lie down. Light balked and slowly lowered himself down on L's lap, attempting to keep his cool and just get this over with.

"Good, Light-kun," L said approvingly, giving his hair a pat, "This will be over with before too long." L reached a hand down to grasp Light's jeans, and Light's cool deteriorated, kicking him into fight-or-flight mode.

Knowing better than to fight, especially when pinned down, Light instead chose flight. Letting out a yell, Light bolted off of L's lap like a cat approached with a vacuum cleaner. L sent a small glare at Light and reprimanded lightly, "Now, now, Light-kun, that was a very naughty thing to do. Lie back down like a good boy and we'll forget it ever happened." L reached a hand out once more to grab Light, and Light shuffled backwards, sounding like a frightened puppy. (d'aaaawwww~! XD)

"Light-kun," L warned, "Don't make me chase you, young man." Light continued to walk backwards as L approached, looking around the room desperately for a place out of the detective's reach.

Light's eyes landed on the table, and L's ever-keen vision followed.

"Light-kun, do not hide under the table like a frightened child." Light slowly scooted towards the table while still moving backwards, "Don't do it, Light-kun, you're too mature for that , don't do it, don-" L made to grab Light, and Light flew under the table.

"…Well, shoot." L mumbled.

Squatting down next to the table and peering underneath, L found Light sitting under the table looking sheepishly at the detective and clutching onto the hefty table's main, middle leg.

"Light-kun, with an IQ of 270, has hidden under a table." L stated slowly, and Light's face heated up in the gloom under said table.

"Come out, Light-kun." L stated. Light shook his head furiously and clutched the table leg.

"I'll only tell you once more," L said robotically, "come out from under the table, Light-kun." Light stuck his tongue out in response.

L frowned slightly, then tugged on the chain, hard. Light's wrist was jerked forward, and he clung to the table leg. A tug-of-war ensued, resulting in neither gaining any length of the chain.

Giving a disgruntled sound, L got onto all fours and crawled under the table, "Fine, then, I'll just force you out with my own two hands, you petulant child."

Light hissed (O.o') and scrabbled at L's approaching hands.

"Urf, stop it Light-kun! You are not an animal!"

"Reeeoooowwrrrr! HIIIIISSSSS!"

They tumbled under the table, wrestling.

"Can someone kindly explain to me what is going on here?" A voice came from above the table. The two squabbling geniuses poked their heads out from under the table to find Matsuda, Mogi, and Watari looking curiously down at them.

Light's face became a crimson beacon, and he hid under the table again. L, on the other hand, crawled out from under the table and stood, brushing off his pants.

Facing the three newcomers unembarrassedly, L informed them, "Light-kun has hidden under the table and refuses to come out and finish his punishment."

Matsuda's eyebrows shot up, and he asked uncertainly, "You mean, you're going to finish spanking him from before, when we stopped you?"

L turned to stare at the officer eerily, "Yes, I am-or, I will when Light-kun is extricated from under the table. Do you have any qualms about this?"

Matsuda tugged at his collar nervously and mumbled, "N-no, that's fine, I was just wondering is all…"

Watari frowned at L and asked him, "Does he really need to receive more punishment?"

L scratched his left leg with his right foot and answered easily, "Of course- I never got to finished, and unless properly reprimanded, he will continue to misbehave violently. He cannot be let off the hook."

"Hmph." Watari breathed heavily in disproval, but remained silent.

Mogi shrugged and asked, "Can't get him out? Want some help?"

L nodded, and they both ventured under the tabled, coming out a couple of minutes later clutching a squirming and thrashing Light. "

Let go! Let go!" Light howled as he was dragged forcibly out from under the table, "He's evil, vile, he's gonna kill me! Let _go_!"

Mogi released Light's feet as L sat down on a chair heavily with Light once more over his lap.

Taking a moment to catch his breath as Light continued to howl and writhe, L held Light tightly in place. "Well, now that you're not hiding like a child anymore," L stated mechanically, yanking off Light's pants and boxers without preamble, "we can continue this, with your non-compliance in mind, of course."

Ignoring the three men who had stationed themselves at the other end of the table and were conversing among themselves while watching the geniuses, L proceeded to spank Light thoroughly.

"Why are you receiving this spanking, Light-kun?" L questioned as he spanked, just like before.

Light, his backside abused enough, answered readily, "I-aaaiii!—a-attacked you! Ouccchhh!"

"Yes, you did." L stated as he barraged Light's bottom with swats, "And that was the same thing you did to warrant your first spanking from me, was it not Light-kun?"

"Eiii, eehh, y-yes, aaii!"

L hummed in agreement and asked emotionlessly, "And so, that means that Light-kun's punishment did not sink in last time?"

Light struggled across L's lap vainly and squawked, "D-didn't!"

"I thought it didn't," L continued calmly, "We'll just have to make sure it does this time." And with that, L went into a blitzkrieg of torrential swats.

Light struggled and cried out, reducing into tears. A part of him thought that perhaps L would stop if he heard Light crying, like the first time.

L did hear, but instead of stopping like he had done before, he suddenly lifted one of his knees and tipped Light forward slightly and covered the entirety of his bottom in redoubled the force and frequency of swats.

Light lost his fight and sobbed raggedly over the side of L's lap, tears dribbling down his face at an odd angle due to the position he was in. Twenty or so swats later, and L finally slowed, then stopped.

Light lay there crying for a few moments on L's lap, not sure what to do and too embarrassed to show L or the other 3 members in the room his face. L, meanwhile, flexed his sore hand.

L sighed and stated, "You can get up now, Light-kun, it's sunk in. Next time you attack me I'll use a hairbrush." Light, on his part, refused to move from his position on L's lap, already mortified enough as it was without letting the panda see his face, so he lay there obstinately, bawling tiredly at the still-raging fire in his hindquarters.

L heaved a sigh, and Light, expecting to be spanked again, squeaked. L did not resume the spanking, and only lifted Light off his lap, setting him to stand up.

Light stood there in front of L, crying slightly, his face turned towards the ground and his fists clenched at his sides, wearing only his dress-shirt.

L rolled his eyes and pulled up Light's boxers, which were still pooled around his feet. Light let out a mangled yell as the offending fabric scraped cruelly against his red bottom, and sobbed anew.

"If you two are quite finished," Watari's voice interrupted unexpectedly, causing Light to trip on the pants still around his ankles and land on his blistered bottom.

A moment of silence in which all gazed down at Light drawing in a ragged breath, then, "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAIII! AAAGGHHH AHHH AHHAHH AHH AH AH EH EHHH EH EH EH EH EH UHHH udhhh ehehhhhh uhhhh uh uhuh uh uh uh uh uh WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~~~~!" Light screamed on the floor, evidently in agony, tears racing down his face, all pretense of control long forgotten.

L cocked his head to the side and looked down in curiosity at Light, and Matsuda hurried forward. The officer lifted Light off the hard marble floor, and not knowing where to deposit the teen, awkwardly held him up while he continued to wail.

Feeling a hard look being sent his way, L turned away from the scene of suffering that was Light to find Watari staring unhappily at him.

"Do you find my methods too harsh?" L asked boredly.

Matsuda sat down inelegantly on a chair and let Light sprawl belly-down on top of him like a kid, clutching his arms uneasily around the geniuses' shoulders as he attempted to calm him out of his hysterics.

Watari heaved a sigh, air ruffling his moustache, as he answered, "No, not really. I'm just disappointed that you were tumbling around under the table, alone, with an upset, underage suspect instead of calling in someone else to help."

L blinked at Watari, genuinely surprised for a moment, "Oh. I thought about it, but decided that the punishment would be more effective if were to handle him alone."

Watari frowned and approached L slowly, "You know your safety is a top priority, you never let anyone else take foolish risks, and yet you do it yourself? That was…very bad."

L's brows contracted slightly as his over-developed mind caught on, and he asked flatly, "You think this warrants punishment?"

Watari nodded simply and sat down on a nearby chair, "Come here, L."

"Light," Matsuda whispered to the sniffling teen as he rubbed his back comfortingly, "Look…" he pointed to where L was carelessly popping himself down on Watari's old lap.

Light hiccupped and stared open-mouthed at the most unexpected scene he had ever witnessed; Watari was going to spank L.

END of Ch2!

Muhahahahaha, a cliffe! XD I'm so mean w Well, at least this means that it'll be multi-chapter! This chappie's shorter than the first because I've got so much to do—like finishing the next chapter of 'Of Water and Curse Words.'

I lulz the funnies…..XD

D'aawww, Matsuda's such a sweetheart! w

…How will L take his spanking? O.O You'll have to wait till next time to find out! XD


	3. Chapter 3

_A New Tactic Ch3_

**For Warnings and disclaimers**, please see Ch1!

**A New Tactic Ch3**

_Subtitle: Not a Second Time…(Beatles reference, lol :D)_

Light watched, wide-eyed, from his position embraced awkwardly by Matsuda, as L lay down carelessly across Watari's lap.

"I-is he going to spank _L_?" Light hiccupped incredulously, clutching Matsuda's suit and repositioning himself to better see the bizarre spectacle.

Matsuda made a noise of affirmation, glad that Light had a distraction from the pain, also fixated on the unimaginable scene playing out before them. Light and Matsuda, from their chair, and Mogi, still seated emotionlessly at the far end of the table, all watched L and Watari in silent wonder.

L lay across Watari's lap, his face betraying no emotion other than boredom. Watari, for his part, also looked eerily calm as he raised his gloved hand. His hand stayed motionless in the air for a few moments, and the three spectators in the meeting room held their breath. The old man brought his hand down, landing on the world's top three detectives' jean-covered bottom… without making even the slightest sound.

The three men watching in the room blinked, expecting something more… loud… and painful. Watari raised his hand again, and brought it down once more in the same feeble manner, as if he was dusting off a pillow instead of spanking someone.

Light looked up at Matsuda in confusion, mouthing, 'Is he spanking him?' Matsuda shrugged in equal confusion.

Three more times Watari silently and softly spanked L, who looked quite unsurprisingly unaffected by the punishment. Finishing with his fifth slap, Watari let out a tired sigh and said a bit breathlessly but sternly, "You may get up now, L. I hope you learned your lesson, mister!"

L slid off Watari's lap and murmured, his head bent low, "Yes, I have learned my lesson, Watari-san, and I am very sorry."

Watari smiled at the detective and said gently, "Good boy, I hope I won't have to repeat that."

L bobbed his head in agreement and turned to face the disbelieving faces of his three teammates. Mogi, Matsuda, and Light stared incredulously from L, who was standing there emotionlessly and obviously in no pain whatsoever, to Watari, who was struggling to catch his breath, still seated in his chair.

They all thought simultaneously, '_Is Watari really __**that**__ old?'_

L caught Light's eye and flashed him a brief, knowing grin. Light bristled and began struggling from his position sprawled across Matsuda to get at the detective, snarling, "He didn't get what he deserved! He needs to suffer, darn it!"

L reassembled his face in lightning speed to that of his usual blank look and stated, "Oh, no, no, Light-kun. I got what I deserved, just as you did and will if you don't settle down."

Light just continued his struggle to remove himself from the befuddled Matsuda's grasp and spat, "Shut _up _you hunched-up, hypocritical, perverted little fu-YEeeOOoOoOwww!!!" Light ended in a mangled yowl of pain as Matsuda quickly brought his hand down twice on the very close behind of the furious genius.

"That's not nice to say, Light-kun! You need to watch you temper." Matsuda admonished while Light began to sob softly again at the added pain. Wavering for a moment, Matsuda embraced Light again, unable to stay mad for long, especially at such a pathetic sight sprawled across his chest.

"And I saw that smirk, too!" Matsuda said abruptly, taking out his spray-bottle and squirting L in the face. L wiped his face with a shrug, looking quite unperturbed, and Light let out a slight laugh through his crying. Matsuda frowned and squirted Light too, muttering, "Don't laugh at others' pain."

Light frowned and sniffled against Matsuda's chest. There was a slight cough from behind them, and a deep voice belonging to the one and only Mogi, "Perhaps we should get back to work now?"

Mogi and Watari stood, walking slowly to the door.

"Hmmm, yes. Kira won't wait while Light-kun gets disciplined." L stated robotically, tugging on the chain connecting him to Light incessantly.

Light made a sound of displeasure as he was tugged further and further off of Matsuda, sure that L was trying to make him fall on his blistered bottom again and not sure if he could even make it all the way back up to the workroom.

Matsuda sensed the teen's thoughts, and asked with a minimal amount of blushing and awkwardness, "Light-kun, considering what your, uhm, bottom has been through today, would you like if someone were to carry you back up to the workroom, or if L would allow, your bedroom?"

Light's eyes widened slightly and he blushed, casting L a questioning and somewhat pleading look. L scratched his leg with his foot and said with a shrug, "If it'll get him up there more quickly, then so be it—and, no, we're not going to the bedroom. We still have work to do. "

L turned and began to slouch towards the door, throwing over his shoulder, "Carry him, Matsuda."

Blinking rapidly when Light was almost tugged out of his grasp once more by the detective moving away, Matsuda quickly struggled out of his seat, slinging Light across his back for one long piggy-back ride.

The three left for the workroom, seemingly forgetting that Light's trousers still lay near L's seat in the meeting room…

*********

One embarrassing explanation and a change of pants later, and the team were winding down the workday.

Light was lying on his stomach on the couch next to L, working on a laptop.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow Dad, have a safe trip home," Light said politely and pleasantly to his father, waving him off.

Waiting until he heard his father's footsteps dissapear, Light pushed his laptop aside and tiredly asked the question that had been plaguing him, "L, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I gotta know-- did Watari really try to spank you, or was he just faking it?"

Light stared intensely at the detective's face to note any changes that would indicate deception as he answered stoically, "No, Light-kun. Watari is just a very old man." Placing his thumb thoughtfully to his lips, L in turn asked," Did Light-kun… want me to suffer?"

Light balked, knowing that his answers would now have a hefty price tag… So, he put on his best politely-affronted face and replied, "Of course not!"

L gave Light a blank look that slowly grew into a small smile. "Light-kun is lying—very bad, Light-kun, very bad." L crept forward towards where Light lay on the other end of the couch.

Light made a small noise of fear and wriggled slightly away. "L, please don't spank me, please!" Light whined pleadingly at the terrifyingly innocent look L was giving him as he continued his slow approach across the couch, "I-I just wanted to answer how you thought I should! I was trying to be good! _Please!_"

L simply grasped Light's arms and pulled him across the couch to lie on his lap. "No," Light moaned, "Not again!"

Light, now knowing better, lay still over L's lap, and tried a different tactic than escape; logic. L slowly peeled Light's trousers and boxers off of his red bottom, and Light began softly, "L, I know what I did, lying, was wrong, and I know it warrants punishment, but not a spanking…please, just squirt me instead! You can spray me a million times, I won't complain, just don't spank me again, please, _please._" Light held his breath, waiting for a reply; instead, he heard the rustle of L raising his arm.

L brought his hand down, and Light clenched the leg of L's left pant leg tightly, crying out tiredly. L's hand fell again, and he stated monotonously, "Yes, I suppose that lying deserves something less than a spanking." Light's eyes widened in surprise at L's admittal.

Feeling joy welling in his chest at L's 'revelation,' Light attempted to slide off L's lap, assuming that the spanking was cancelled. So, he was quite taken aback when he felt L restrain him and lay down a sharp smack. "W-what?" Light asked in confusion, craning around to peer at L.

L gave Light another creepy/adorable/diabolical smile and stated, "Lying… for Kira-kun, lying deserves a spanking." Light gaped at the detective, stunned.

Remembering himself when he felt another painful slap, Light wailed, "_L, I am not Kira!"_ L just hummed and brought his hand down again.

"_Ahem,"_ a deep voice interrupted abruptly from above. L stilled his hand for a moment and turned his head upwards at an angle to face the darkened face of, "Mr. Yagami, did you forget something?" L asked emotionlessly.

Mr. Yagami raised an eyebrow at the detective and said flatly, "Yeah, I forgot two things on my way out the door; my keys, and you."

L's nonexistent brows raised then contracted at lightning speed whiel Light asked in a low voice, "Dad…?"

Mr. Yagami walked around the couch, tossing his coat onto an armchair, and pulled Light out from under L's restraining arm to lie back on his end of the couch. Blinking in surprise, Light awkwardly reached back and pulled his boxers and pants carefully back on, watching in astonishment as his father his father swooped down and picked up L.

Sitting down in the detective's place, Mr. Yagami plopped L across his lap, and giving a sigh, said with a bite of anger, "I was standing at the door, L. What you said was terrible, and then continuing is just horrible. Don't try to argue, you brought this on yourself, abusing your power over Light, even just this once." L lay across the ex-police chief's lap, L could only blink in surprise and think to himself, '_Darn_.'

Mr. Yagami pulled off the detective's pants, much to the continued amazement of the two geniuses in the room, and proceeded to bring down his hand onto the panda's boxers. L writhed in surprise at the force behind the swat, his eyes widening to comic proportions.

"Euf," L grunted, squirming a bit on the chief's lap, only to have another blow fall. Light watched with his mouth slightly open, not believing that L was being properly spanked, and by his father of all people.

Ten or so swats later, and L was released from Mr. Yagami's lap. The detective rolled off and onto the floor in a crouch, looking slightly miffed, the most sincerely emotional anyone had ever seen him.

Mr. Yagami stood then, gave the two young , thoroughly spanked men 'the look' and then left without a word, his unspoken command to behave thick in the air.

L and Light looked at each other, silently communicating that it was time to go to bed. L stood up from the floor, moving to gather his laptop from the coffee table. Unfortunately, however, the long chain, unnoticed, had coiled around his foot, causing him to trip and land right on his very sore- "Ouch." L stated, sitting blinking on the floor, turning to look genuinely unhappily at his rear, "That hurt."

Light suppressed a laugh and replied, "Yeah, I know."

END of Ch3!

Ah, this might be the last chapter—I dunno, I might do one more with an epilogue or something, maybe not. This chapter is short and poorly written, I realize, but I'm a bit backed up with art and fanfic orders ^^'. Well, I hope it made you laugh and wasn't too predictable!


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